rough Daft of text wrestling

The two articles that I read stated the good and bad about being parents. For the most part, parents stated that they even on the bad days they wouldn’t trade be a parent. The parents sometimes lived in the moment of that situation instead of looking at all the moments together. All the parents, did state that they wouldn’t trade not having a family over being single. At first, upon reading the articles I thought that parents didn’t want anything doing with their children but that is not always true. It just seems that life can be more complicated and tiring than the parents thought they would be at having children.

In the article, All Joy and No Fun there are parents different versions of how being a parent is. Most professionals who did research showed that being a parent is not making them happier than being single. The research showed that most live in the moment-to moment situation and dwell on that moment instead of seeing the bigger picture of all the moments. In the beginning of the article, the mother talks about the ups and downs that are a constant of her everyday routine. She sees this as what happens to most parents. Daniel Kahneman noted that child care came in at sixteenth out of nineteen things that parents found pleasurable. One noted that mothers are less happier than fathers and continued to feel worse as they have more children. Gilbert states children “offer moments of transcendence, not an overall improvement in well-being”. The mother who has to try and make her child do his homework is clearly having anxiety because she feels it is her job to make sure he gets it done. So, of course she is upset because of his attitude. This does not mean she doesn’t love him less, it just means she wants the best for him. Nachamie noted on a documentary that she thought it was amazing to see the woman from Namibia sitting down calmly and enjoying playing with her children. We here in the United States find it more as a job or task to do. One study showed that parents today spend more time with their children than back in 1975 but still don’t think it is enough. Campbell and Twenge noted that marital couples who had children were less satisfy, had more money, and had children later in life felt that they gave up some of their freedom. Parents seem to be happier when there were less external things to worry about and could focus on their children only. One father describes how he felt that having children made him feel neglected. Gilovich study was opposite of most finding in that some regretted not having a family while the ones who did told them that they didn’t regret having theirs. He also stated that things that might seem horrible at the time can be the most memorable memories you have to treasure. So, it all depends on your life choices and views of having a family.

I interview my mother and her thoughts about the article. She did state that sometimes she felt that she had no time for herself. But, she said that she would never trade having a family. My mother has stated time and time again that we make her life complete and couldn’t picture not having my sisters and I. She also stated that the best times she can remember was when money was tight and we were young. We would go to places and do things that cost nothing but quality time together. One of my Mom’s most rememberable moments of my sisters, my cousin, and I was when we made a butter mess all over the house and each other. She got so mad at us that she put us all in the tub and had to wash us three times to get all the butter off of us. During the interview, my mother stated that she lives life in the moment as it happens but treasures those moments for the good and bad. That’s what family is all about she would say. My mother didn’t like the article in that she thought that the parents didn’t seem to want to have their children because they thought it was a job. My mother also stated that my father does sometimes feel neglected when she spends more time we us instead of him. Over all, my mother seemed like she truly grateful for having us in her life.

 

In this article, Eibach and Moch conducted a study showing that parents rather spend money on their children knowing that they won’t get anything in return. Parents in both studies stated that they rather spend the time and money on their children than anything else. Even though other research showed that parents did state that their day was worse than they had expected. It still didn’t make them want to change their outlook on their children. They still wanted to be parents for the better or the worse of the being a parent.

 

http://nymag.com/news/features/67024/index2.html#print

 

http://healthland.time.com/2011/03/04/why-having-kids-is-foolish/print/