What are the pros and cons of internet dating? Is there romance to be found?
There are amazing statistical facts about online dating. People trying an online service is close to being equal to the number of single people we have here in the United States. Online dating services like eHarmony have about four hundred questions in their survey. Match.com is the busiest dating service followed by eHarmony. Match.com profiles you based on the type of person you are drawn to while eHarmony tries to match you to a specific type of person based on common interest (Statistic Brain Research Institute, 2016). People using an online dating service states they want to find someone with the same common interest first followed by physical features. Seventeen percent of marriages last year happened out of meeting that person online. Ten percent of sex offenders are using online dating services. The number of males using an online dating service is slightly higher than females. (You might think it would be the other way around.) Also, more seniors are using an online dating service looking for companionship. One in five marriages are a result of online dating (Fact Sheet 37,2016).
There are pros and cons to online dating. Knowing what you are looking for can help save some of the headaches about using this kind of service. Psychologist Finkel and associates came up with an analysis of online dating, the pros and cons. I am going to start with the pros. Online dating can give you more potential partners that are available to you. This can be helpful if you are looking for a particular type of a person. Also, personality testing helps with compatibility so you don’t have to waste your time on someone who has no common interest. The internet can be a safe and convenient place to interact without having too much risk and time invested as long as you don’t give out too much information and spend hours looking for the perfect person (Nicholson, 2014).Online dating can be easier for people who are dating later in life to look for someone without waiting to meet that person through a friend or family member. In some cultures where arrange marriages take place, an online dating service can help the family pick potential mates based on their cultural beliefs (Fact Sheet 37,2016).
The cons to online dating are as follows. You can spend hours looking for the perfect person and have no real plan on what or who you are looking for. You should come up with a plan before hand to make your life easier and online dating less frustrating. Matching a person to your specific requirements is not an exact science so you might not get the chance to look at one who might be a good fit for you. Another good example of a con is that you don’t get that face to face interaction that you would normally get on the first date. An example could be an attraction to a smile, a wink, etc. (Fact Sheet 37,2016). The internet can lack the emotions that you would feel if you had that face to face meet. Facial expressions can tell us if they like us or not. The internet cannot. Online dating websites sometimes can be dangerous in that giving out too much information can be used by third parties without your knowledge. This could lead to scam artist trying to use your information for their financial gain. Also, online marketers will try to use this information to sell you product (Banayat, 2014.) You also need to aware that what you put out there can potential be used against you. Court systems do not need to rule in your favor if there is a lawsuit (Fact Sheet 37,2016). You knew what you were doing when you uploaded your information. Also, once you stop using that dating service, there are no guarantees that you information will not still be used by that company. A con to online dating that can happen, is when a person lies in their profile which makes one not wanting to use that service again. You also, need to be aware that some of these online dating services can be misleading in that they can make you think that there is a perfect person out there for you. There is no such thing. Life is a gamble but you got to be willing to try as long as you use common sense and your gut feeling.
Online dating has it pro and cons as long as you realize that the initial meet online should be followed up with a meeting of that person face to face. Online dating can alleviate a lot of stress of hoping to meet someone but remember to keep the playing field down to a limit number of choices and to your common interest and location so that you don’t spend too much time searching instead of dating. Make sure you use a secure website for online dating and having a separate email might be a good idea to keep you private information safe. If the website seems to be fishy then do not use it. Don’t put too much information up on that website because it could potential come back to harm you.
I think that online dating takes out the romance that you would get with the first date if you are to meet face to face. Online line dating can be a real risk in that you don’t know that person or your family and friends don’t. You can end up being sexually abused because you didn’t have the family trust who wouldn’t set you up with someone like that in the first place. Once you meet that person face to face or a date that the family set up for you, let someone know where you are going and have an escape plan ready if things go badly. The most important thing is to use your instincts and don’t let someone talk you out of what you know won’t be in your best interest.
Banayat, Tine. Modern Love Online: Weighing Up the Pros and Cons on Online Dating, the First Step towards Finding Love in the Digital Age. LeoNe 11 October 2014. Book 11 October 2014
“ Fact Sheet 37: The Perils and Pitfalls of Online Dating: How to Protect Yourself”. Privacy Rights Clearinghouse. 2015. Web 12 April 2016
Nicholson M.S.W, PhD, Jeremy. ‘Pros and Cons of Online Dating, When and how to date online”. Psychology Today 30 April 2014. Web 12 April 2016
“ Online Dating Statistics”. Statistic Brain Research Institute. 2016. Web 12 April 2016
text wrestling revised
Text Wrestling
For the most part, most parents say that even on the bad days they wouldn’t trade being a parent. The parents sometimes lived in the moment of that situation instead of looking at all the moments together. All the parents did state that they wouldn’t trade not having a family over being single. At first, upon reading the articles I thought that parents didn’t want anything doing with their children but that is not always true. The two articles that I read stated the good and bad about being parents. It just seems that life can be more complicated and tiring than the parents thought they would be at having children.
In the article, “All Joy and No Fun” there are parents different versions of how being a parent is. Most professionals who did research showed that being a parent is not making them happier than being single. The research showed that most live in the moment-to moment situation and dwell on that moment instead of seeing the bigger picture of all the moments. Daniel Kahneman noted that child care came in at sixteenth out of nineteen things that parents found pleasurable (Senior, 2010). Researchers show that mothers are less happy than fathers and continued to feel worse as they have more children (Cloud, 2011). Gilbert states children “offer moments of transcendence, not an overall improvement in well-being” (Gilbert, as cited in Senior, 2010). Nachamie noted on a documentary that she thought it was amazing to see the woman from Namibia sitting down calmly and enjoying playing with her children (Senior, 2010). One study showed that parents today spend more time with their children than back in 1975 but still don’t think it is enough. Campbell and Twenge noted that marital couples who had children were less satisfied, had more money, and had children later in life felt that they gave up some of their freedom (Senior, 2010). Gilovich’s study was opposite of most finding in that some regretted not having a family while the ones who did told them that they didn’t regret having theirs. He also stated that things that might seem horrible at the time can be the most memorable memories you have to treasure (Senior, 2010). In the article, “Why We Exaggerate the Joys of Parenthood”, Eibach and Moch conducted a study showing that parents would rather spend money on their children knowing that they won’t get anything in return (Cloud, 2011). Parents in both studies stated that they rather spend the time and money on their children than anything else. Even though other research showed that parents did state that their day was worse than they had expected. It still didn’t make them want to change their outlook on their children. They still wanted to be parents for the better or the worse of the being a parent.
Being a parent can be a lot of work. In the beginning of the article, the mother talks about the ups and downs that are a constant of her everyday routine. She sees this as what happens to most parents. The mother who has to try and make her child do his homework is clearly having anxiety because she feels it is her job to make sure he gets it done. So, of course she is upset because of his attitude. This does not mean she doesn’t love him less, it just means she wants the best for him. We here in the United States find it more as a job or task to spend time with children. Parents seem to be happier when there were less external things to worry about and could focus on their children only. One father describes how he felt that having children made him feel neglected. Mothers today have to work full time and still take care of their children full time so they feel overwhelm and tired all the time. Mothers from previous generations stayed at home and didn’t have to worry about working. They were able to focus more of their time on their children without external factors that take away from the home. So, it all depends on your life choices and views of having a family if it worth the tiring hours you are willing to put into it.
I interviewed my mother to get her thoughts about the article. She did state that sometimes she felt that she had no time for herself. But, she said that she would never trade having a family. My mother has stated time and time again that we make her life complete and couldn’t picture not having us in her life. She also stated that the best times she can remember was when money was tight and we were young. We would go to places and do things that cost nothing but quality time together. One of my Mom’s most remember able moments was when her daughters and her niece made a butter mess all over the house and each other. She got so mad at us that she put us all in the tub and had to wash us three times to get all the butter off of us. During the interview, my mother stated that she lives life in the moment as it happens but treasures those moments for the good and bad. That’s what family is all about she would say. My mother didn’t like the article in that she thought that the parents didn’t seem to want to have their children because they thought it was a job. My mother also stated that my father does sometimes feel neglected when she spends more time with us instead of him. My mother states that all of these moments makes her happy but it more how she can look at her life and say that she has no regrets because her life is fill with love. Over all, my mother seems like she is truly grateful for having us in her life.
The article made it seem that being a parent is hard work. I believe that you have to work at being a parent constantly. If, I turn out to be as good a parent as mother, then I can say I did my job well. I think that you have to go into parenting with real expectations that it is work but you have to be willing to want to work for it or it doesn’t turn out as you might expect it to be.
Cloud, John. Kid Crazy: “Why We Exaggerate the Joys of Parenthood.” Time Magazine 4 March 2011. Web 29 March 2016.
Senior, Jennifer.” All Joy and No Fun Why parents hate parenting.” New York News and Politics 4 July 2010. Web 22 March 2016.
What are the pros and cons of internet dating? Is there romance to be found?
There are amazing statistical facts about online dating. People trying an online service is close to being equally to the number of single people we have here in the United States. Online dating services like eHarmony have about four hundred questions in there survey. Match.com is the busy dating service followed by eHarmony. People using an online dating service states they want to find someone with the same common interest first followed by physical features. Seventeen percent of marriages last year happened out of meeting that person online. Ten percent of sex offenders are using online dating services. The number of males using an online dating service is slightly higher than females. (You think is would be the other way around.) Also, more seniors are using an online dating service looking for companionship. Match.com profiles you based on the type of person you are drawn to while eHarmony tries to match you to a specific type of person based on common interest. One in five marriages are a result of online dating.
There are pros and cons to online dating. Knowing what you are looking for can help save some of the headaches about using this kind of service. Psychologist Finkel and associates (2012) came up with an analysis of online dating, the pros and cons. I am going to start with the pros. Online dating gives you more potential partners that are available to you. This can be helpful if you are looking for a particular type of a person. Also, personality testing helps with compatibility so you don’t have to waste your time on someone who has no common interest. The internet can be a safe and convenient place to interact without having too much risk and time invested as long as you don’t give out too much information and spend hours looking for the perfect person. Online dating can be easier for people who are dating later in life to look for someone without waiting to meet that person through a friend or family member. In some cultures where arrange marriages take place, an online dating service can help the family pick potential mates based on their cultural beliefs.
The cons to online dating are as follows. You can spend hours looking for the perfect person and have no real plan on what or who you are looking for. You should come up with a plan before hand to make your life easier and online dating less frustrating. Matching a person to your specific requirements is not an exact science so you might not get the chance to look at one who might be a good fit for you. Another good example of a con is that you don’t get that face to face interaction that you would normally get on the first date. An example could be an attraction to a smile, a wink, etc. The internet can lack the emotions that you would feel if you had that face to face meet. Facial expressions can tell us if they like us or not. The internet cannot. Online dating websites sometimes can be dangerous in that giving out too much information can be used by third parties without your knowledge. This could lead to scam artist trying to use your information for their financial gain. Also, online marketers will try to use this information to sell you products. You also need to aware that what you put out there can potential be used against you. Court system do not need to rule in your favor if there is a lawsuit. You knew what you were doing when you uploaded your information. Also, once you stop using that dating service, there are no guarantees that you information will not still be used by that company. A con to online dating that can happen, is when a person lies in there profile which makes one not wanting to use that service again. You also, need to be aware that some of these online dating services can be misleading in that they can make you think that there is a perfect person out there for you. There is no such thing. Life is a gamble but you got to be willing to try as long as you use common sense and your gut feeling.
Online dating has it pro and cons as long as you realize that the initial meet online should be followed up with a meeting of that person face to face. Online dating can alleviate a lot of stress of hoping to meet someone but remember to keep the playing field down to a limit number of choices and to your common interest and location so that you don’t spend too much time searching instead of dating. Make sure you use a secure website for online dating and having a separate email might be a good idea to keep you private information safe. If the website seems to be fishy then do not use it. Don’t put too much information up on that website because it could bite you in the butt in the end.
I think that online dating takes out the romance that you would get with the first date if you are to meet face to face. Online line dating can be a real risk in that you don’t know that person or your family and friends don’t. You can end up being sexually abused because you didn’t have the family trust who wouldn’t set you up with someone like that in the first place. Once you meet that person face to face or a date that the family set up for you, let someone know where you are going and have an escape plan ready if things go badly. The most important thing is to use your instincts and don’t let someone talk you out of what you know won’t be in your best interest.
References:
Privacy Rights Clearinghouse (2015), Fact Sheet 37: The Perils and Pitfalls of Online Dating: How to Protect Yourself: Privacy Rights Clearinghouse
Statistic Brain Research Institute (2016), Online Dating Statistics
Banayat, Tine (2014). Modern Love Online: Weighing Up the Pros and Cons on Online Dating, the First Step towards Finding Love in the Digital Age: LeoNe
Nicholson M.S.W, PhD, Jeremy (2014), Pros and Cons of Online Dating, When and how to date online. Psychology Today: Sussex Publishers, LLC
Cover Letter
Dear Members of the Portfolio Committee,
Over the course of this semester I have learned the importance of putting my ideas down then try to write my papers from there. This helped me to put them in order and to stay on topic. When I tried to just start a paper without having my ideas written down I notice that I was all over the place and some of my ideas didn’t have anything to do with my topic I was writing. I already knew how to do clusters which has helped a great deal when I do my papers. I have also used brainstorming method, which I write down my thoughts on paper and eliminating the ones that don’t need to be there. One of my biggest problems when I am writing is that I am bad at spelling and this sometimes takes me off my topic. I will try to fix all of my spelling mistakes instead of just writing what I am thinking at that moment. I am very grateful for the use of a computer to help me out with this. I found it difficult using a blog to write my papers on and to follow directions put up on the blog because I have never use one before. I like having a paper in front of me. I am glad that I took this class because I am a little more confident going into my next English class especially if it is a class that is set up as a blog as well.
My most enjoyable paper to do was my memoir paper of a vacation I took with my entire family to Horseneck Beach. I was taught that describing your vacation was not just enough to let your readers enjoy the story. I would have to describe the setting as well. After, I included what the night felt like on the beach I realize how amazing it sounded. I could visualize being there even years after that trip. Our vacation started out with just my immediate family going but since it was so close for the rest of my family, they decided to join us which made the trip so much more remarkable.
The AFM Bowling Alley was the place I decided to go to do my ethnography paper. I had the opportunity to observe family interact with one another and share a moment together. The bowling leagues were there at the same time so I was able to listen and observe what they were talking about. Their scores were important to them as was a trophy they wanted to win. The bowling alley setting was dim but the excitement that you felt and saw was not. Everyone there seemed to be enjoying themselves whether it was families, friends, or the leagues themselves. Their body language and use of bowling terms was what made the experience better for all who went.
One of my most difficult papers to write was the text wrestling essay. I feel that I had to keep going over it and still didn’t have it quite right. At first, I summarized the articles that I read about parenting but didn’t put them in any particular order. After, revising my paper I learned that separating the paragraphs by having what the professionals have to say first followed by the parents was a better way to go. I finished the paper with an interview with my mother. I added my own thoughts about the paper and how parenting can be challenging but you have to be realistic of what you are getting into. Another, difficult part of this paper was that I had to cite my sources in MLA format. I really didn’t understand how to do this, which brought up more challenges for me to do my paper correctly.
I realize that taking this course has helped me with my writing. I have learned a little about how to do MLA format. Also, it is alright to have to start a paper over if it doesn’t stay true to the topic or that your grammar doesn’t make sense. I have had to revise and change my paper several times so that the reader would be able to get a better understanding of the message I wanted to convey to them. This class has taught me this and I am confident that I will be able to use some of the things I learned in this class in my next English class.
Horseneck Beach
One of my favorite memories I have with my family is a camping trip to Horseneck Beach. The enter week was fill with family. We were busy all week long with different members of my family coming and going throughout the week. The first day there was my immediate family only. It was a typical summer afternoon. We had to spend most of it getting the campsite ready. We were hot and sweaty. I was so happy when we were all done setting up. Our campsite was right on the beach. I put my bathing suit on and was in the water before my parents were even aware of it. My sisters and I were on bogy boards trying to catch the waves. After that, we played keep away with a water ball. We had so much fun that afternoon. We had hamburgers for dinner that night (of course, on the open fire). After dinner we walked around the campground and walked on the beach. The ocean hitting the beach was so tranquil that I couldn’t believe that I was there. As the night grew darker, the stars came out and all you could see was stars everywhere. I felt like I was in a planetarium except on a way larger scale. I wish the night would never end. It was so peaceful to be there.
The next day, my Grandmother, my cousin Louie, and my Aunt Loreen came to the campground. We spent most of the day in the ocean. At first, my cousin was afraid to go into the ocean. He thought that he might drown. My mom put him on the bogy board and on purpose let the waves go over his head so that he would get used to it. After a while we couldn’t get him out of the water. They wanted hot dogs for supper. My dad was cooking them on the grill when he looked over and saw a seagull came down and stole my grandmother’s hot dog while she was eating it. We sat by the campfire that night and told scary stories.
The following day my Uncle Alan and Aunt Sandra came to the campground. It was so much fun watching Aunt Sandra act like a little kid. She had never been in a camper or played half the board/card games that we did. She kept trying to make up the rules as she went along. After we played games we went to play in the ocean. We were trying to catch the waves. I went out to far and the waves kept going over me. I was starting to drown. My uncle was able to grab me and save my life. My lungs were burning with ocean water because I inhaler so much of it. I felt like I was coughing for hours after that. I learned a lesson that day. Always go in the ocean with someone and do go out to far if the current is swift.
On day four, they rest of my crazy family decided that they should show up. My Aunts Lisa, Donna, Lynn, Uncles David and Peter, and my cousins Marissa and Colin all came. They wanted to do everything. We spent the next several days with them there set up in tents next to our camper. We went hiking and rode our bikes a lot around the campground. We played games that usually include basketball, four square, bean bag toss, and croquet. We are loud and sometimes get very competitive when we play games. Usually someone gets upset about how the game played out but that is how we are. My Aunt Donna is the biggest kid. She also likes to make up the rules as she goes along so that she can win. So much for letting the kids win.
The fifth day that we were there we ran into my Dad’s cousin Barbara and her kids Maddoxx and Miranda. We didn’t even know that they were camping there at the same time. We spent most of the day swimming in the ocean playing Marco polo with all of us. We decided that we should end the day with doing friendship bracelets and having a huge campfire. We made s’mores and played music. After that we went down to the ocean and collected shells. I learned that the ocean made shells transparent and smooth over time on this trip.
On the sixth day it was just my Aunt Lynn and my family. We went hiking up this long path to find a small building and along the way we found coal. I was told by my aunt that back in the old days they used coal to heat homes and that this building could be the remains of a fort that had coal in it. When we got back it was so hot that we jumped into the ocean with our clothes on. We didn’t care if we had our bathing suits on. After that we played board games and went to bed.
The following day we packed up the camper and took down the tents. We were heading home. The trip was such a great memory for me because I got to have my entire family with me and the memories are for all of us to share.
Bowling Alley
I went to AMF bowling lanes to do my ethnography paper. My first observation was that I noticed the bowling alley itself. I noticed that there was a food and a drinking bar to get something to eat while you were there. There is a pro shop where you can buy equipment for league purposes. The arcade there is small but it has several different games for the children to play in between bowling. On the floor, there were lots of bags with bowling bowls in them all around the place. There were four lanes that were being cleaned and oiled by an automatic machine. Some of the people who go to the bowling alley bring their own bowls and shoes.
The lighting in the bowling alley was dim. They had the lights down low. The sunshine that came in from the doors was bright which helped to light up the place. All around me when I walked in the door, was the sound of the pins being hit with the bowling bowls and the players being excited when they saw the pins going down. The scoreboards where lite up to show the players their scores. The smell of the food made me very hungry but kind a got drowned out by the smell of the bowling shoes which were very smelly. It almost made me feel like I was at a typical sporting event. The smell of food mixed with the smell of body odor. There was advertisement all around to remind the bowlers that they had food for sale.
Then my attention was brought to the families that were there. I was observing two fathers with their daughters playing air hockey against each other. They were laughing and giggling. There was two children sitting at a table coloring while there mother was bowling. They seemed to be ages six and eight. A father was there with his small children. He was holding one in his arms and the other two were running around the bowling alley. They seem to be between 1-4 years in age. The smaller children there got to use a plastic dragon ramp to help them with letting the bowls go down the lane. A mom was helping her son who was about three or four using the ramp. He was happy when he saw the bowl go down the lane. I also, notice that there were children eating candy while running around. I notice a woman who was wheelchair bound having quality time with her husband eating.
The next group of people I notice were the bowling leagues. There are different leagues. The disable league was practicing while the regular leagues where waiting their turn to practice. The regular league had both teams dressed in regular ordinary clothes. Maybe they will change into uniforms when it came to their turn to bowl. The other team, the disable team was dressed in a team uniform. The uniforms were black polio with a white patch on it. I really couldn’t read the name of the team on it. The league members seem to be between the ages of thirty to sixty years in age. I noticed a gentleman cleaning his bowling bowl. Some of the bowling bowls they were using had their initials on them while others had pictures on them. They were talking among themselves about their bowling scores. Some of them were talking about a trophy that they wanted to win. A lady was selling raffle tickets to help raise money and to offer a prize. Not sure what the prize was.
The last group of people I notice there where friends. They seem to be talking to each other, making jokes, and having a good time. One group of friends where sitting at the bar eating and talking to each other. Another group was playing arcade games. A few others were bowling and picking on each other about their scores. I didn’t realize that bowling leagues were popular in small towns like Somerset. It is nice to go there and see how people interact with each other and the leagues talk about how they play the game.
Parenting
For the most part, most parents say that even on the bad days they wouldn’t trade being a parent. The parents sometimes lived in the moment of that situation instead of looking at all the moments together. All the parents did state that they wouldn’t trade not having a family over being single. At first, upon reading the articles I thought that parents didn’t want anything doing with their children but that is not always true. The two articles that I read stated the good and bad about being parents. It just seems that life can be more complicated and tiring than the parents thought they would be at having children.
In the article, “All Joy and No Fun” there are parents different versions of how being a parent is. Most professionals who did research showed that being a parent is not making them happier than being single. The research showed that most live in the moment-to moment situation and dwell on that moment instead of seeing the bigger picture of all the moments. Daniel Kahneman noted that child care came in at sixteenth out of nineteen things that parents found pleasurable (Senior, 2010). Researchers show that mothers are less happy than fathers and continued to feel worse as they have more children (Cloud, 2011). Gilbert states children “offer moments of transcendence, not an overall improvement in well-being” (Gilbert, as cited in Senior, 2010). Nachamie noted on a documentary that she thought it was amazing to see the woman from Namibia sitting down calmly and enjoying playing with her children (Senior, 2010). One study showed that parents today spend more time with their children than back in 1975 but still don’t think it is enough. Campbell and Twenge noted that marital couples who had children were less satisfied, had more money, and had children later in life felt that they gave up some of their freedom (Senior, 2010). Gilovich’s study was opposite of most finding in that some regretted not having a family while the ones who did told them that they didn’t regret having theirs. He also stated that things that might seem horrible at the time can be the most memorable memories you have to treasure (Senior, 2010). In the article, “Why We Exaggerate the Joys of Parenthood”, Eibach and Moch conducted a study showing that parents would rather spend money on their children knowing that they won’t get anything in return (Cloud, 2011). Parents in both studies stated that they rather spend the time and money on their children than anything else. Even though other research showed that parents did state that their day was worse than they had expected. It still didn’t make them want to change their outlook on their children. They still wanted to be parents for the better or the worse of the being a parent.
Being a parent can be a lot of work. In the beginning of the article, the mother talks about the ups and downs that are a constant of her everyday routine. She sees this as what happens to most parents. The mother who has to try and make her child do his homework is clearly having anxiety because she feels it is her job to make sure he gets it done. So, of course she is upset because of his attitude. This does not mean she doesn’t love him less, it just means she wants the best for him. We here in the United States find it more as a job or task to spend time with children. Parents seem to be happier when there were less external things to worry about and could focus on their children only. One father describes how he felt that having children made him feel neglected. Mothers today have to work full time and still take care of their children full time so they feel overwhelm and tired all the time. Mothers from previous generations stayed at home and didn’t have to worry about working. They were able to focus more of their time on their children without external factors that take away from the home. So, it all depends on your life choices and views of having a family if it worth the tiring hours you are willing to put into it.
I interviewed my mother to get her thoughts about the article. She did state that sometimes she felt that she had no time for herself. But, she said that she would never trade having a family. My mother has stated time and time again that we make her life complete and couldn’t picture not having us in her life. She also stated that the best times she can remember was when money was tight and we were young. We would go to places and do things that cost nothing but quality time together. One of my Mom’s most remember able moments was when her daughters and her niece made a butter mess all over the house and each other. She got so mad at us that she put us all in the tub and had to wash us three times to get all the butter off of us. During the interview, my mother stated that she lives life in the moment as it happens but treasures those moments for the good and bad. That’s what family is all about she would say. My mother didn’t like the article in that she thought that the parents didn’t seem to want to have their children because they thought it was a job. My mother also stated that my father does sometimes feel neglected when she spends more time with us instead of him. My mother states that all of these moments makes her happy but it more how she can look at her life and say that she has no regrets because her life is fill with love. Over all, my mother seems like she is truly grateful for having us in her life.
The article made it seem that being a parent is hard work. I believe that you have to work at being a parent constantly. If, I turn out to be as good a parent as mother, then I can say I did my job well. I think that you have to go into parenting with real expectations that it is work but you have to be willing to want to work for it or it doesn’t turn out as you might expect it to be.
Cloud, John. Kid Crazy: “Why We Exaggerate the Joys of Parenthood.” Time Magazine 4 March 2011. Web 29 March 2016.
Senior, Jennifer.” All Joy and No Fun Why parents hate parenting.” New York News and Politics 4 July 2010. Web 22 March 2016.
Argument rough Draft
Does the internet help form romantic relationships?
What are the pros and cons of internet dating? Is there romance to be found?
There are amazing statistical facts about online dating. People trying an online service is close to being equally to the number of single people we have here in the United States. Online dating services like eHarmony have about four hundred questions in there survey. Match.com is the busy dating service followed by eHarmony. People using an online dating service states they want to find someone with the same common interest first followed by physical features. Seventeen percent of marriages last year happened out of meeting that person online. Ten percent of sex offenders are using online dating services. The number of males using an online dating service is slightly high than females. (You think is would be the other way around.) Also, more seniors are using an online dating service looking for companionship. Match.com profiles you based on the type of person you are drawn to while eHarmony tries to match you to a specific type of person based on common interest. One in five marriages are a result of online dating.
There are pros and cons to online dating. Knowing what you are looking for can help save some of the headaches about using this kind of service. Psychologist Finkel and associates (2012) came up with an analysis of online dating, the pros and cons. I am going to start with the pros. Online dating gives you more potential partners that are available to you. This can be helpful if you are looking for a particular type of a person. Also, personality testing helps with compatibility so you don’t have to waste your time on someone who has no common interest. The internet can be a safe and convenient place to interact without having too much risk and time invested as long as you don’t give out too much information and spend hours looking for the perfect person. Online dating can be easier for people who are dating later in life to look for someone without waiting to meet that person through a friend or family member. In some cultures where arrange marriages take place, an online dating service can help the family pick potential mates based on their cultural beliefs.
The cons to online dating are as follows. You can spend hours looking for the perfect person and have no real plan on what or who you are looking for. You should come up with a plan before hand to make your life easier and online dating less frustrating. Matching a person to your specific requirements is not an exact science so you might not get the chance to look at one who might be a good fit for you. Another good example of a con is that you don’t get that face to face interaction that you would normally get on the first date. An example could be an attraction to a smile, a wink, etc. The internet can lack the emotions that you would feel if you had that face to face meet. Facial expressions can tell us if they like us or not. The internet cannot. Online dating websites sometimes can be dangerous in that giving out too much information can be used by third parties without your knowledge. This could lead to scam artist trying to use your information for their financial gain. Also, online marketers will try to use this information to sell you products. You also need to aware that what you put out there can potential be used against you. Court system do not need to rule in your favor if there is a lawsuit. You knew what you were doing when you uploaded your information. Also, once you stop using that dating service, there are no guarantees that you information will not still be used by that company. A con to online dating that can happen, is when a person lies in there profile which makes one not wanting to use that service again. You also, need to be aware that some of these online dating services can be misleading in that they can make you think that there is a perfect person out there for you. There is no such thing. Life is a gamble but you got to be willing to try as long as you use common sense and your gut feeling.
Online dating has it pro and cons as long as you realize that the initial meet online should be followed up with a meeting of that person face to face. Online dating can alleviate a lot of stress of hoping to meet someone but remember to keep the playing field down to a limit number of choices and to your common interest and location so that you don’t spend too much time searching instead of dating. Make sure you use a secure website for online dating and having a separate email might be a good idea to keep you private information safe. If the website seems to be fishy then do not use it. Don’t put information up on that website because it could bite you in the butt in the end.
References:
Privacy Rights Clearinghouse (2015), Fact Sheet 37: The Perils and Pitfalls of Online Dating: How to Protect Yourself: Privacy Rights Clearinghouse
Statistic Brain Research Institute (2016), Online Dating Statistics
Banayat, Tine (2014). Modern Love Online: Weighing Up the Pros and Cons on Online Dating, the First Step towards Finding Love in the Digital Age: LeoNe
Nicholson M.S.W, PhD, Jeremy (2014), Pros and Cons of Online Dating, When and how to date online. Psychology Today: Sussex Publishers, LLC
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The two articles that I read stated the good and bad about being parents. For the most part, parents stated that they, even on the bad days wouldn’t trade be a parent. The parents sometimes lived in the moment of that situation instead of looking at all the moments together. All the parents, did state that they wouldn’t trade not having a family over being single. At first, upon reading the articles I thought that parents didn’t want anything doing with their children but that is not always true. It just seems that life can be more complicated and tiring than the parents thought they would be at having children.
In the article, All Joy and No Fun there are parents different versions of how being a parent is. Most professionals who did research showed that being a parent is not making them happier than being single. The research showed that most live in the moment-to moment situation and dwell on that moment instead of seeing the bigger picture of all the moments. Daniel Kahneman noted that child care came in at sixteenth out of nineteen things that parents found pleasurable. One noted that mothers are less happy than fathers and continued to feel worse as they have more children. Gilbert states children “offer moments of transcendence, not an overall improvement in well-being”. Nachamie noted on a documentary that she thought it was amazing to see the woman from Namibia sitting down calmly and enjoying playing with her children. One study showed that parents today spend more time with their children than back in 1975 but still don’t think it is enough. Campbell and Twenge noted that marital couples who had children were less satisfy, had more money, and had children later in life felt that they gave up some of their freedom. Gilovich study was opposite of most finding in that some regretted not having a family while the ones who did told them that they didn’t regret having theirs. He also stated that things that might seem horrible at the time can be the most memorable memories you have to treasure. In this article, Eibach and Moch conducted a study showing that parents rather spend money on their children knowing that they won’t get anything in return. Parents in both studies stated that they rather spend the time and money on their children than anything else. Even though other research showed that parents did state that their day was worse than they had expected. It still didn’t make them want to change their outlook on their children. They still wanted to be parents for the better or the worse of the being a parent.
In the beginning of the article, the mother talks about the ups and downs that are a constant of her everyday routine. She sees this as what happens to most parents. The mother who has to try and make her child do his homework is clearly having anxiety because she feels it is her job to make sure he gets it done. So, of course she is upset because of his attitude. This does not mean she doesn’t love him less, it just means she wants the best for him. We here in the United States find it more as a job or task to spend time with children. Parents seem to be happier when there were less external things to worry about and could focus on their children only. One father describes how he felt that having children made him feel neglected. Mothers today have to work full time and still take care of their children full time so they feel overwhelm and tired all the time. Mothers from previous generations stayed at home and didn’t have to worry about working. They were able to focus more of their time on their children without external factors that take away from the home. So, it all depends on your life choices and views of having a family if it worth the tiring hours you are willing to put into it.
I interview my mother and her thoughts about the article. She did state that sometimes she felt that she had no time for herself. But, she said that she would never trade having a family. My mother has stated time and time again that we make her life complete and couldn’t picture not having my sisters and I. She also stated that the best times she can remember was when money was tight and we were young. We would go to places and do things that cost nothing but quality time together. One of my Mom’s most remember able moments of my sisters, my cousin, and I was when we made a butter mess all over the house and each other. She got so mad at us that she put us all in the tub and had to wash us three times to get all the butter off of us. During the interview, my mother stated that she lives life in the moment as it happens but treasures those moments for the good and bad. That’s what family is all about she would say. My mother didn’t like the article in that she thought that the parents didn’t seem to want to have their children because they thought it was a job. My mother also stated that my father does sometimes feel neglected when she spends more time we us instead of him. My mother states that all of these moments makes her happy but it more how she can look at her life and say that she has no regrets because her life is fill with love. Over all, my mother seems like she is truly grateful for having us in her life.
The article made it seem that being a parent is a horrible thing to do. I believe that you have to work at being a parent constantly. If, I turn out to be as good a parent as mother, than I can say I did my job well. I think that you have to go into parenting with real expectations that it is work but you have to be willing to want to work for it or it doesn’t turn out as you might expect it to be.
Senior, Jennifer (2010). New York News and Politics. All Joy and No Fun Why parents hate parenting. New York: New York Media LLC
Cloud, John (2011). Time.Com. Kid Crazy: Why We Exaggerate the Joys of Parenthood. New York: Time Inc.
Sources for Argument
http://lifehacker.com/is-online-dating-worth-it-an-faq-1633598636
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/in-the-name-love/201509/is-online-dating-good-way-find-profound-love
http://cybercrimenews.norton.com/eye_fi/feature/emerging_threats/internet_dating_dangers/index.html#axzz46T8n12Xj
https://www.getsafeonline.org/social-networking/online-dating/
https://www.privacyrights.org/perils-and-pitfalls-online-dating-how-protect-yourself
https://www.zoosk.com/safety
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-attraction-doctor/201404/pros-and-cons-online-dating
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